


memories bring back you

by orphan_account



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, References to Depression, my brotp is here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:07:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Modern AU. Anna left something for Elsa to hold onto when things get rough.Give it a shot, this summary is only the tip of the angst iceberg.
Relationships: Anna/Elsa (Disney)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	memories bring back you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fruipit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fruipit/gifts), [Turwen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turwen/gifts).



> I seriously have a thing for angsty one shots, what is wrong with me? 
> 
> Anyways, this is for Turwen and Fruipit, authors of Risky Business. I made this because they inspire me to write so much, you don't even know ok. I have feelings about that fic. It's a really fun and cute story guys, you have to check it out.

_Click._

" _Hey it's Anna! ... Come on, Els! Clock's ticking!"_ An audible sigh. " _and Elsa."_ Anna's laugh can be heard. " _Sorry we can't get to you right now. Leave us a message after the tone!"_ Anna's chirpy tone is a stark contrast with Elsa's monotone. 

Elsa dials their phone again, it rings for sometime before the voicemail is replayed. Elsa does that for five more times. When she finally has the energy to detach herself from the couch, she goes to their--sorry, her room now. She makes a beeline for their--damn it her, her, her, _her_ closet. When she opens it, she sees that the other half of it still remains empty, save for the few pieces of clothing she left behind. Elsa quickly crouches and takes the box that's lying at the bottom of _her_ closet, she closes it before she has this urge to puke when Anna's scent and perfume hits her nostrils. Summer and honeysuckle and hot chocolate. 

When Elsa drops the box unceremoniously onto the coffee table, she gets the walkman next. It fits perfectly at the palm of her hands, the plastic dented and scribbled on with Anna's handwriting and doodles. _Why do I keep doing this to myself?_

She doesn't think of the answer, instead she pads back towards the couch, plops herself down, and pulls out a random tape. She almost laughs when she reads the title. 

_For when you're feeling down._

She presses play. 

" _Hey, Els! It's me, your girlfriend, Anna."_ A sheepish laugh. " _I mean, duh. So, if you're listening to this tape that means you're feeling down and that's okay! I've known you for four years, Elsa, and you tend to always be hard on yourself. You keep problems and you repress feelings and then you act okay because you don't want to burden anyone. I want you to know that you'll never be a burden to me or Kristoff or anyone, babe."_ Another laugh, this time it was her dorky laugh that was only reserved for the blonde. " _Sorry, I know you hate me calling you babe. Which is understandable! Babe is so overrated and corny and it's totally not us and... yeah, I'm rambling again."_

Elsa presses pause, a ghost of a smile tugging on her lips. She finds it funny that Anna's rambling never ceases to show itself and endearing that Anna successfully did what she said she'd do all those years ago when Anna pushed to be her girlfriend. 

_"You don't have to be afraid, Elsa. I'm so confident about this that I'm willing to wager you that I can understand you better than you understand yourself."_

Elsa takes in a shaky breath _(inhale),_ she holds the walkman with both hands and leans her forehead on it. She wills herself to press play ( _exhale)._

" _Anyways, I meant what I said, Els. I love you and you will never be a burden to me. So why don't you come talk to me, okay? We'll get hot chocolate ready, maybe some popcorn, pop in your favourite musical, oooh favourite musical_ and _movie?"_ A laugh and then a pause. " _Then when you're ready we'll talk about it. My shoulder may be small but it's there for you to cry on, love. Just—just do everything in your own pace and tell me what you want. I'll respect it. I love you."_

When the tape ends, Elsa allows herself to feel. She allows the thoughts to run rampant and this time she _listens._ Listens to how her heart hurts and aches incredible because Anna isn't here. Anna isn't here. Anna isn't here. 

_Anna isn't here anymore and it's my fault._

Where everyday coming home would be a welcomed thing, it now isn't. Because home is empty, devoid of Anna and her smile and her laugh and her kisses and her stories and her ramblings and everything else in between. Because home is always where Anna is, it's within her arms, snuggled in bed with her playing with Elsa's hair until they both fall asleep to the sound of each other's heartbeat. 

Elsa absolutely _breaks_ when she finally lets herself cry. It starts with an achingly small sob until her whole body is wrecked with it. Her eyes remain shut but the images of Anna still come fleeting through. Anna and how her eyes crinkle and her lips form a smile when she says 'I love you' or how she throws her head back when Elsa makes an unusually funny retort or how Elsa would wake in the middle of the night to Anna trembling and she'll cry and cry and cry on Elsa until she falls asleep, grateful but her throat dry so she kisses Elsa's cheek instead. 

She doesn't know how much time passes but she does the first thing she remembers from that tape. " _Talk to me."_ So she rings Anna's phone and her heart breaks for a second time when it goes to voicemail. 

Elsa clears her throat before she says anything, "Hey, Anna." Her voice sounds hoarse but she pushes through. "It's—it's Elsa. Uhm, I listened to your tape." Elsa laughs, it's a dry one and she rolls her eyes but the tone of her voice says it's otherwise. "You're such a dork, by the way. But, yeah, I listened to them and I guess I'm calling because I want to tell you that I'm sorry. For everything. Please call me back. Call me back this time. _Please._ " She pauses, thinks about if she should say it and she decides she's gotten this far so she might as well. "I love you." And then she ends the voicemail. 

She's doing breathing exercises when she hears a knock on her door. Her heart leaps through her throat and she opens it to find... Kristoff. She bites back the disappointment and smiles, stepping aside to let him in. 

"Hey." He casually says. 

"Hi." She replies, closing the door behind him. "You didn't bring Sven with you today?" 

Kristoff has been a solid rock since the... _incident_ with Anna happened. He was there when Elsa's room was a mess, full of take out food and cup noodles because cooking reminds her of Anna, he was there when everything was either torn apart or thrown across the room because Elsa keeps smelling Anna's perfume, and he was there when Elsa was drunk, wandering the streets and dialling Anna but ended up dialling him instead and begging to _just please call and talk about it._ He was there, always has been since they were three. 

"No, he's at the vet today. Getting his check up with Ryder." He says the name with a smile and it unconsciously reminds her of Anna, yet again. "How are you holding up?" He's at the couch and he spots the box and the walkman when he asks that. Elsa looks at where he's looking and she blows a sigh through her nose. 

"I think I'm ready to go back." She says shakily. 

Kristoff's response is a grin. He's giddy and proud of her but he tries not to show it. Like Anna, he wants Elsa to take things on her own pace. No pushing, just baby steps. Elsa is immensely grateful and she's sort of left wondering how she got so lucky in the first place and why she had to fuck everything up. 

"Yeah? You can go today?" Then his face falls. "Or not, you can always go any day." He says with a forced nonchalant shrug, he even leans back on the couch and throws his arm around it.

It makes Elsa laugh and gives her the boost of confidence she needs. "Yeah. Today." 

Kristoff immediately jumps up and pumps his fist before he catches himself giving away his faux (not really) indifference. He pretends to stretch. "Just—my arms." He says before he clears his throat. "Anyways, do you want to go now?" 

Elsa nods and she's expecting another excited outburst but this time Kristoff just smiles, it's soft and genuine. It kind of makes Elsa want to cry again. Then Kristoff puts his arm around her and she tenses for a little while before relaxing in his embrace because she remembers Anna's words and chooses to believe it. _You're not a burden._ So she lets herself be touched and she even has to guide Kristoff around the apartment to get her keys and wallet because he refuses to let go. 

When they're in his car and they're driving, Elsa's eyes are trained on the window. She's watching people and buildings past by when she hears him say, "I'm proud of you, you know." 

Elsa feels her chest swell and she turns to look at him. He glances back at her before he smiles. 

"Thank you, Kristoff. For everything." His smile turns into a grin, all teeth and there's a faint blush powdering his cheeks. "I mean it," she continues, "I—you've been... such a big help through everything. I don't know how I'd get through this without you." 

"You know I've always got you, Elsa. And I know you'd do the same for me." 

Elsa just nods and goes back to the window, Kristoff doesn't push the topic further. Again, she's grateful. She doesn't realise they're there until Kristoff pulls the car to a stop, the engine dies and suddenly everything in the car is quiet. Elsa stares at the menacing looking building and she feels her stomach churn. It was all white and full of windows and just seeing it brings her painful memories. 

Kristoff must have sensed it because he says, "We don't have to if you don't want to. Today we can just look at it and then tomorrow or next week we can get out of the car. We can take it little by little, yeah?" 

Elsa wants to just cry again. Instead she does the next best thing, she smiles at him and shakes her head. "I'm good. Let's go." 

Kristoff searches her face for any sign of uncertainty and when he finds none, he nods his head and they both leave the car. Elsa is aware that every step she takes is a step to betterment and she's quite proud of that. 

* * *

Kristoff drops her off her apartment when the session is done. She turned her phone off when she had entered the building with the idea of not getting any unwanted calls (like her phone ever gets any calls aside from when she was still with Anna, anyways) and she opened it with wanting to play her game that she hasn't touched in a while. She left the phone to boot up and went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. When she came back she saw her phone vibrating so much it almost fell on the floor. 

Raising a curious brow, she checked to see a few messages from Anna and a few more missed calls. 

_Hey i cant reach you_

_it says your phone is off_

_els?_

_elsa where are you?_

_youre scaring me._

_please answer_

_call me when you get this okay?_

Elsa feels her chest constrict, her heart leaping through her throat again. Anna's worried about her, she still cares, she even _called_ her. _Gods,_ and here she thought Anna wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Elsa takes a seat and pulls Anna's name from her contacts, her thumb hovers for a second before she clicks the green button and presses her phone to her ear. 

Anna answers on the second ring. "Elsa! Oh my god, are you okay? Are you hurt? You weren't answering and I was _so worried_ I thought of—of the worst things and I couldn't get myself to sit still and... I'm on my way to Arendelle. Elsa, are you okay? You're not hurt, are you? Where are you?" 

After all that Anna had said, all Elsa could do was laugh because even if Anna is worried out of her mind she still manages to ramble. It makes Elsa have this stupid smile that she can't quite get rid off whenever Anna's the cause. 

"You're laughing, why are you laughing? Wait," Elsa hears her breathe a sigh of relief through the call, "you're _laughing._ Thank god you're okay." 

Elsa nods even though she knows Anna can't see her. "I'm okay, Anna." She pauses and then takes in everything Anna has said the past 20 seconds. "Wait. You're coming to Arendelle? Why?" She asks, alarmed. 

"Because I was worried about you, you idiot!" 

"I'm sorry I was busy." 

"Busy with what?" Anna huffs, bitterness colouring her tone. 

Elsa winces but decides to ignore it and her grin grows wider when she says, "I've been at the therapist today." She laughs when she shakes her head, it's a breathy and shaky one but she can't quite calm her nerves down. "I'm going to get better, Anna. I promise." 

"Oh, Els. That's great. I—we need to talk. I brought Olaf with me." As if on cue, Elsa could hear Olaf bark happily. She feels her heart dancing in her chest because for the first time in a really long time, Elsa feels _happy_ and _confident_ that she's actually doing things. Things that can make her be better, for her and for them. "Do you want to meet somewhere?" 

"Uh, I—uhm, yes. Please." She winces with how desperate that sounded. "When are you getting here?" 

"In a few minutes, I think. Depends if _dad_ wants to step on it because there's no cars and he's driving at a snail's pace." Elsa could hear them bickering and she allows herself to a private little chuckle. Anna always had a great relationship with her parents and it was nice to see or at least _hear_ it again. "... whatever, dad. Sorry about that. He says he misses you and Olaf's been whining nonstop that he can't see you." 

Elsa smiles sadly. "I'm sorry, Anna." 

"Hey, we'll talk about that later, okay? I'm just really happy for you, Els. I want you to know that." 

She takes a deep breath and holds it for a few seconds before releasing it shakily. She sniffles and laughs a watery one before she says, "Yeah. I know, thank you."

"So, usual place? Oaken's?" Anna says cheerfully. Elsa rolls her eyes and pretends to make an exasperated sigh so Anna pushes. "C'mon, I haven't been there in ages. I miss their hot chocolate." 

Elsa acts like she relents, saying a drawn out "F _iine._ " And Anna laughs. 

Hearing it does... things to Elsa. It makes her have butterflies in her stomach and feel unusually giddy. "I'll see you there in 20?" Anna says hopefully and Elsa's already grabbing her shoes and slipping it on. 

"I'll be there." She says. Then adds, "Promise." 

Anna must have heard the door clicking and opening because she says, "Okay, then. See you." 

"Mhmm." Elsa hums in agreement and as if things can't get any better, Anna says, "Oh, and Elsa?" 

Elsa stops midway on closing her door when the redhead says, "I love you, too." A pause and then Anna clears her throat. "Yeah, okay. I will... see you in a bit. Okay. Bye, I love you!" 

_Click._

Elsa has to wipe a few tears and a silly grin from her face when she takes the stairs to see her, _her_ Anna. 

**Author's Note:**

> To be perfectly honest with you, the original idea of this was that Anna is dead. Yes, I wanted it to hurt /that/ bad. But I kinda gave a bit of mercy for my heart and for yours so, yeah. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Go scream at me about your feelings on my tumblrrrrr at axelsonk.co.vu


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